My spiritual journey has taken over 40 years, and every one of them represents continuing positive change in both me and my life. This journey has taken me through several iterations of ‘being’, for want of a better term. And during that time I have often felt concerned that I wasn’t finding my right path and doing the right things.

I became a medium during a telephone call, studied mediumship, and then got block after block around the work. People asked me to do card readings so I obliged, I am after all here to help, and I just didn’t like providing that kind of guidance. I went to mind, body, spirit fayres and met some beautiful and amazing people, but I didn’t like being there. No disrespect to an amazing offering on the part of psychics and mediums, etc., I just felt like a square peg in a round hole every moment of the time I was there.

For over 25 years though I’ve spoken in public. It began when I joined an amateur dramatic group and disliked acting, but I loved the group and eventually became a producer and the chairperson. As the chair I was expected to go out on stage and talk to our supporters, and I found that much more comfortable. I enjoy being me.

My husband Tony has always wanted to join Toastmasters, the speaking and leadership training group. We tried several times whilst living in the south west of the UK, but unfortunately the groups were just too far away for us to make it. When we moved to the Midlands we found a group, probably the kindest group in the world, and we joined.

My journey with Toastmasters has been the first thing in my life that is effortless. For the first time it was okay for me to be good at what I do? Why not, we’re all good speakers, but this time there was no hierarchy, and literally zero feeling that in order to be good someone else has to be useless. Just support, encouragement, and suggestions. As a result I won my first ever speaking contest a few weeks ago, and there’s no doubt in my mind that their support was key to that blessing.

The important point here though is this. Previously, when I have tried to cosmically order what I wanted I met with block after block. When I tried to visualise myself doing something I thought I wanted to do, I just couldn’t. Yet I was ‘seeing’ myself on a big stage many years ago – I thought as I couldn’t sing, dance, or act, I was probably cleaning it! And since the day I joined Toastmasters I can easily visualise myself as a public speaker.

The conclusion I’ve come to is that you won’t be able to visualise what isn’t in your life path, and one of the easiest ways to find yourself and your life path is to keep moving on when doors slam in your face, and wait for those that open. Yes, I used to want to scream “When will a door finally open?! When will I finally get a yes?!”, but I know now that I should simply have moved on faster when things didn’t work.

I also know that as I couldn’t have done this before I moved to the West Midlands, there is timing in all our life paths, and as long as we continue to move forward and actively seek our destiny, we will find it. What’s more I’m 60, and it feels like exactly the right time to me.

I’m really excited to say that I won our Toastmasters club competition last night for the International Speaking competition. As with all things you don’t get to rest on your laurels though. Next the area competition. I will keep you posted!

Have you ever moaned and moaned until you’ve driven your friends crazy? Have you ever done so until you’ve driven yourself crazy? I did, I got to the stage where I hated hearing myself speak because I couldn’t believe that I had been worrying about the same thing for so long.

In fairness to me, it was a very difficult thing I was worrying about – how to break up ‘the golden couple’. That’s how my ex and I were known, and for different reasons both our families were heavily invested in our marriage. At times it felt like we were married for their reasons and not our own, such was the pressure to keep performing, for want of a better word. When we did split up it would not be an exaggeration to say that chaos ensued.

I have a different approach to moaning today. When I feel like moaning I go off on my own, I moan my head off, and I listen! In doing so, in getting things off my chest, I can order my thoughts, decide whether I need to take action or I’m just having a Negative-Nelly day, and take steps accordingly. I.E. shut up or do something.

I wish that someone had told me during those bad times that moaning means you’re upset about something. Blindingly obvious I know, but we tend to dismiss moaning as being negative, rather than realising that we are moaning for a reason and that reason needs exploring!

Obviously, there are two levels, level one is when you’re feeling out of sorts and everything irritates you. Level two is when there is something very wrong that needs your care, attention, and action. Only in listening to yourself moan can you decide which level you’re at and what you need to do.

So, don’t ever dismiss your moaning, be derogatory about it, or put yourself down as an idiot who doesn’t know when they’re onto a good thing. Moan and listen. If you’re jut out of sorts, then do something to settle yourself back down. If something is wrong, sort it.

And if you can’t sort it, contact me. Together we will.

The short answer is yes. You may not think yourself capable of creating a reasonable life, let alone a magical one, but that’s only because you have been trained in a specific, social way of thinking that mostly knocks anything that isn’t ‘normal’.

There is another way of thinking, and I call it magical for two reasons. The first is that, as it says on the home page, if a magician can create magic from a set of ordinary playing cards, then we can create magic from an ordinary life. Secondly, because calling it magical thinking reminds us not to think ‘normally’. To seek inspired ideas, to believe that we can do anything we want to. To actively try to be different, and live differently. In other words, to live our own lives not a well-worn pattern followed by previous, equally frustrated, generations.

Because that’s what’s been happening for hundreds of years. Each generation has followed a similar path to the last, improving on some things, but broadly living the same type of life. You may have a bigger house than your parents had at this point in their lives, you may have a higher paid job; you may have a degree or two. But you will still be getting up, going to work, working hard, and coming home. Broadly speaking, the pattern is identical. Unless you’re one of the rare few who think outside the box, take steps and risks that most ‘ordinary folk’ don’t take, have a dream and go for it.

However, you don’t have to want to be a multi-millionaire running the latest cutting-edge technology company, having taken the brave decision of walking out of your degree a week before your finals like Bill Gates, co-founder of Microsoft, in order to shift to magical thinking. I have to admit, I love magical thinking but I’m glad mine hasn’t had to be quite so dramatic!

Magical thinking just means that you don’t like where you are in life, your current thinking isn’t working, and now you’re stepping outside the box, breaking all the rules of boredom and drudgery, and leaving no stone unturned, in order to live the life of your dreams. However big or small they may be. Even a small dream is the most valuable thing in the world if it is your dream.

Magical thinking versus years of boredom, or worse. You decide.