True Freedom

The truest form of freedom is to work out who you are and be that person. It’s an empowering and authentic feeling that allows you to be you fearlessly, no matter what!

7 Different People

When I was in my early 20s I was 7 different people and none of them liked each other. I was so tired and anxious all the time that I just wanted to stay out of trouble, so no matter who I was with I tried to please them. I said what they wanted me to say, agreed with what they felt, and then of course they all talked and I didn’t come out of it at all well.

It wasn’t a wonder that I struggled, I wasn’t brought up to be me I was brought up to be what my parents believed in. If I was like them I was okay, but if I wasn’t then I was wrong. As my life widened out as a young adult things got worse.

I met my first husband and he wasn’t impressed by my upbringing, it didn’t take me long to start agreeing with him, but he was as determined as my parents so very quickly pleasing him became to upset them. When I was in a room with them all I had no idea who I was and had a choice who I wanted to upset.

Throw my in-laws into the mix, the loveliest people I ever met and the only ones who just wanted me to be me, and life got even more complex as my parents didn’t feel comfortable with them, and my ex wasn’t too fussed about them either.

Then I got a job working in the same company as my dad. Dad was universally liked because, quite frankly, they didn’t live with him. They only saw the jolly happy side, they never saw the anxious, angry, stressed side. As such I don’t know what they expected of his daughter, but the day I walked into the room they told me that just because they liked my dad it didn’t mean they liked me, in fact they really didn’t think they did. I had been there an hour! If you’re wondering how that can possibly be, put yourself in a stunned 18 year old’s shoes and you’ll understand why I kept trying to please them. To no avail.

My friends, by this time, were wondering what the heck had happened to me and trying to avoid this person they didn’t know. The real me was in a heap inside me wondering how to cope.

As you may imagine, this couldn’t go on, and the time came when I urgently needed help, and thank God and all the Angels I found the right mentor. Oddly, he knew my dad too but he had a very different viewpoint, but then he was good at reading and understanding people.

I Like Me

I worked through the self-definition process, who I wanted to be and why. I thought about life, set myself some standards (kindness, integrity, honesty, and a few other good things), and diligently and deliberately became that person. I actually chose the kind of person I wanted to be and created her from scratch. My personal strap line is:

Say it, mean it, do it, be it!

I say what I mean, mean what I say, do what I say I will, and I am that person. I base most of what I am around kindness. Kindness to others, animals, the planet, and myself. I treat myself the way I treat others, and I treat them the way I wish to be treated.

It’s a good feeling. If you want to have trust in the process of life, if you want to trust that you can have the best life, that there is a best life, then you need to trust you. If you’re being someone you don’t want to be that will be hard, but the moment you take control, observe your words, make sure your actions match them, and speak an act in a way that feels right to you, you will be stunned by the inner strength you will feel. A gentle strength that is used only to hold you up and define you.

I don’t apply my strengths and beliefs to others, I just decide if I can be with them and move away if not. It’s not up to them to decide if I should be comfortable, it’s up to me, and if I’m uncomfortable and stay then that too is down to me.

If you want to feel great about life you just have to be with people who are on the same vibration and want to think and be positive. There is no other choice.

You can maybe help the others later.

Tomorrow I’ll tie all this together.

Smiles

Deb