Anxiety and Blame
When you’re feeling low and anxious you don’t recognise yourself, you become someone you never expected to be, and you have no idea how to cope with the stranger that’s invaded your mind and taken over your emotions.
You can be quite tough on yourself, thinking that you just need to get a grip, and other people can certainly suggest that they feel the same. It’s rubbish.
When the stranger that is anxiety invaded my previously happy, joyful mind, I literally felt taken over mentally and emotionally by a feeling I simply had no words for. I didn’t understand it. I didn’t even know what it was in that day and age. At least we talk about it now.
I had no training to deal with the energy that changed in one single step, literally, I was walking down the road on a beautiful sunny day, feeling amazing, when bang a sensation started in my stomach and made its way immediately into my mind. I suddenly felt scared, alone, and my stomach felt awful. I have no words to this day to describe it.
Yet for years I felt stupid that I’d somehow let this happen, because surely it must be my fault that my mind had done this? It was my mind after all. I didn’t think about my past or the treatment I’d been receiving since before I could recall. When I think back now I’m only surprised that the collapse didn’t happen sooner.
I thought it would go away and it didn’t, it stayed and it got worse. In that day-and-age there was no question of going to the doctor and asking what was wrong, and definitely not in my family. I was just a ‘nervous wreck just like her father’. He wasn’t and nor was I, we both had reasons for the way we’d become, good reasons.
Winning the Game
Take out the shame and the self-blame if you want to get better. Ignore the words of those who don’t understand what you’re going through, you’ll quickly tell if you’re speaking to someone who has had this experience, or someone capable of empathy because their compassion will be unquestioning. Anyone who treats you like a pair of curtains or suggests a holiday is to be avoided.
You have to work out your own steps to recovery, and I personally had a mentor to help me, which is what I do now, I help other people to put their lives right. And you do have to put your life right, the anxiety and stress is there for a reason, you need to work out what that reason is, and be fearless about eradicating the problem…but…
It’s very rare that ‘things’ get better without help. Identify the things, the actions required, and take them. Don’t complicate the process, make a hit list of what needs to change, take the easiest and start there. If you don’t change the things then the things won’t change, it’s that simple.
You weren’t born to be as unhappy as possible as often as you can. FACT!
If you need help contact me.
Smiles and hugs