Or No One Can Do That!
I’m currently doing a marketing course, and when I mentioned what it was I wanted to achieve I got the normal (but very kindly) raised eyebrows, because instead of focusing on one area of modern-day life and creating one mentoring programme, I want to focus on them all. But then if I of all people got a black belt, I can do this!
Don’t Live Other People’s Plans
We are each individual, and we all have the way that is right for us, the important part of that point is that if you are different then it’s vital for your mental and emotional well-being that you live that difference without apology.
That can be very hard to do of course when many people are telling you that you’re wrong, and those people are successful in what they do, but if you don’t follow your heart then you will always regret it, and if you do trust your heart you will more than likely succeed.
After all, Sir Alan Sugar and Sir Richard Branson both left school with no recognisable qualifications, yet they’re both hugely successful. That’s because they trusted themselves to know more about who they are, they’re dreams, and abilities, than anyone else.
Fall Down, Get Up!
If you do go your own way then there will be times that you will fail, and you will find it hard to recover if you listen to the “I told you so’s” that you were doing the wrong thing in the wrong way. Remember that even the most successful people have failed, often spectacularly, but they held onto their beliefs and made them work.
However, you do need to be informed. Just because someone can’t do what you feel you can it doesn’t mean it’s impossible, by the same token the more knowledge and information you have about what you’re trying to do, the more likely you are to succeed. So whilst it’s important to believe in yourself it’s also vital to seek information and listen to supportive people.
I might be sitting slightly to one side of the others on the course I’m doing, but I’m listening with both ears and making frantic notes, as the information I’m getting is useful and will apply to what I want to do. I don’t intend to fail through being too precious about my beliefs to listen to successful people. Fortunately those on my course are hugely supportive and encouraging. You only walk away when people aren’t.
That Black Belt!
I was literally the most unlikely person ever to get a black belt. I told my instructor when I first spoke to him that I’d never done anything that couldn’t be done in 3″ heels and he thought it was a joke! I’d never done a day’s exercise in my life except walk miles around shops, and the odd optimistic trip to a gym, and I do mean odd as in infrequent and a weird place to be!
I took to martial arts like a duck to water on a mental and emotional level, but with the total physical ineptness of someone who thought ‘stretch’ was a prison sentence, kick was what dancers did, and punch put two holes in a sheet of paper. Yet I loved it, I got the black belt more by attitude than skill, but then attitude is a huge part of the philosophy of martial arts, and I did achieve a higher level of ability than I could ever have dreamed!
The point is that because, quite unexpectedly, I was a martial artist at heart, it was me, I managed to transcend my wildest dreams, yet if I’d told people in the past that I wanted to do that I’m sure they’d still be laughing now – 20 years later. I followed my me.
The Whole Life Programme
So, where other people niche and help people with only one thing, I’m going to follow not just my conviction, but 62 years of life knowledge and 35 years of spiritual training, and create a programme that people can cherry-pick from to create something that they need, rather than dictate what they need.
Yes it will take work, but I love that work, yes I might work harder than other Coaches and Mentors, but you’re going to have to work so why can’t I? But I cannot move away from my beliefs that life works as a whole, it is truly holistic or whole-istic. Yes you can have phenomenal success in one area, but if that sends something else out of whack then what’s the point.
I’ve never wanted phenomenal success and to lose half the money in a string of divorce cases, or to have a fantastic working day and then walk back into a sh*t-storm of fury based on where I should have been if I’d actually cared about my family. I’ve seen far too many people do that, or land up with their children indifferent to them and their partner living for lunch and shopping, and maybe a bit of fun on the side.
The Spiritual Lesson
Will I succeed? I’m sure going to try. What I can’t do is live a life that isn’t me, that’s what created the majority of my stress and anxiety in the past, listening to other people to the point that I was living their life and abilities and not my own.
Some people will try to tell you that standing up for your beliefs about yourself is arrogant, but the way I look at it, I’ve tested out my abilities for 62 years now, and I pretty much know what I’m good at because I’ve tried things and I know what works and what doesn’t. It’s not arrogance it’s good old-fashioned life experience.
If you aren’t quite as ‘mature’ as me then try things, find out who you are, see what you’re good at, don’t be afraid to fail because it’s the only way you’ll learn, about yourself and your abilities. Edison blew up his lab several times before he made his first light-bulb, and when asked about failure he simply replied that he knew many ways not to make a light-bulb, and that’s how he found the right way.
I’ve tried many things, some I can do, some I can’t, but that unexpected black belt taught me, just try, you never know what you can do. All you need to do is see where your heart is happy and you’ll know you’re in the right place, then never let anyone take that from you. Especially as they’re not you!