DID MY PARENTS LOVE ME?

THE QUESTION THAT HAUNTED ME

As a child I didn’t feel my parents loved me as much as my brother, they told me that I was jealous because I was nearly 7 when he was born, but in later years their closest friends and wider family confirmed that I was right. It wasn’t until I got two kittens that I finally understood.

Marby and Geris

By the time I was in my mid 20’s I was so unhappy and isolated that I’d become totally self-obsessed. Why not? I was the only one who seemed to care a jot about me and whatever I was going through I had to get on with it alone. This wasn’t a natural state for a person like me, so I decided that the only thing to do was find something more important than me, enter Marby and Geris.

When I first picked up Geris (on the left) it was like some cells had been missing from my shoulder, and now I was complete. My husband said that when I walked he weaved between my feet and I never tripped over him, we were one. When he died I didn’t begin to know how to cope, he had been my sanity. You may conclude by reading this that Marby was far less important than him, and you couldn’t be more wrong. I absolutely adored her, and banged my head on a wall the night she died.

The Spiritual Difference

The difference was the spiritual connection. I ‘knew’ Geris long before I found him. I nagged my ex to get kittens for 3 months, and guess how old they were when I found them? My spiritual mentor said I must have felt him arrive. Marby was always a daddy’s girl, but Tony was just as devoted to Geris as he was to her.

That connection that brings us our soul mate, our best friend from the moment we meet in the playground, can happen between parents and children. One is already ‘known’ to the parents, one is a relatively newcomer to their spiritual circle. Does this excuse my parent’s treatment of me, actually no it doesn’t, it was unfair in the extreme, but it does make me see that maybe they didn’t mean to be biased, but their lack of spiritual understanding meant they didn’t know what to do.

What to Make of It?

As I said, lack of spiritual connection is no excuse for the behaviour of adults, or man’s inhumanity to man. Part of the purpose of the human journey is to connect with diverse people who are quite different from you, rather than killing them. But if we all understood that some connections are automatic, but no child or adult is less important than another, the world might be a kinder place.

Smiles

Deb

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